Confession Time!
My name is Dottie and I have a problem......I have a compulsive need to get involved in everything around me. It really doesn't matter what it is either. If I'm around...it needs to be done...there's a certain amount of satisfaction from doing it...then I'm your lady.
Do you need me to clean your house? Done. Would you like me to watch your kids? Done. Do your homework? Become the den leader? Volunteer at school? Invest all my time? Drive you around? Go out for lunch? Take on your burdens?............
Here's a bit of honesty......I hate that I do this!!!!!! Because you know where it leaves me? No where, that's where. I am broken, exhausted, and incapable of sustaining my own needs. And my needs are a big deal now (as if they weren't before :) ) cause I'm just not the same person I used to be. My "Year of Hell" has scoured me inside and out, leaving me feeling weak and fragile. It's important for me to remember that cause I'm not able to do things like I used to. For physical reasons, as well as....I just don't want to.
This sounds so crappy of me, but I have to have a wake up call to this. The Lord has counseled us not to do more than we have strength for and truly, I've been too busy to even ask him. Which is retarded....I know.
So here it is, written plainly for all the world to see and me to be embaressed by: I have a problem and its time to fix it. I need to humbly turn to the Lord and ask: "Please help me and show me what really needs to be apart of my life."
If I don't do this, I'm just going to continue down the same path. It is a lovely path called "Es-caw-pay". There is plenty of couches and tv on this path along with some occasional reading. Many enjoy it from what I hear. However, I want to be apart of the here and now, and take pleasure in serving the Lord appropriately.
There is hope. His name is Jesus. And He is the true way. I have to remember that.....and that I have to go volunteer in 30 minutes. <sigh>
I can empathize. I think I am pretty good at saying no to strangers but I can NOT say no to my family. It is torture! It reminds me of Ella Enchanted. Seriously. They have some kind of weird power over me.
ReplyDeleteI think learning to make these kinds of choices and finding our priorities is one of the great achievements in life.
I am sure you will figure it out!
Definitely learn to say no! You have to refresh and replenish. I sure would hope that the people you serve appreciate your sacrifices, though. <3
ReplyDeleteHey I used to be that type of person and then I had the Ah=Ha moment. Learning to say "no" was such a blessing. You can only do so much before you lose yourself. Take the comfort that you can help your family--even do a few things, but keep yourself the top-priority. I have learned this lesson a few years back. I wish you the best!
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