There are those moments in our lives when we deal with these kinds of people. And yes, I'm talking about our leaders. Whether they are found in our home, work, church, or other areas of our lives, one thing is constant.....they can REALLY get under our skins. :) Why is this?
I believe that there are several reasons, from different personalities or different beliefs to name a couple. But, I truly believe that one of the top reasons is that "leaders" have to say and do the hard things. Leaders have to deal with 'black/white' views and typically need to stay out of the 'gray' area. The mushy 'gray' place is what the people we love are for!!! To help us know that not everyone or everyone's circumstances are the same. Leaders can't be that way. They need to deliver the law, rules, or justice across the board. And we don't want to hear these things! (most of the time)
No one wants to think that they are doing something contrary to what they believe they are doing or how they are living. Being called out on stuff, whether real or not, can be embaressing and angering. But I think that if we remember that 'leaders' are not meant to coddle or tread lightly around us, but to uplift & inspire us to better things, we can look at such 'direction' with humility. In fact, I personally believe that sometimes a leader's direction or counsel may not necessarily need to be taken literally, but to motivate us to ponder our choices and make sure they are truly on task. Again, leaders are not placed in our lives to be our friends (although that can happen sometimes, which can make it all that much harder when direction is given), but to give us clear black/white counsel motivating us to change or ponder humbly.
For example, there is a leader in my workplace that has given me pause MANY times. This person is completely black/white. There are rules provided to help run the business as efficiently as possible and this leader is profoundly good at making sure that everyone is working accordingly. Now this can get VERY annoying when you are called out about things that you are seemingly not doing wrong. Like when an occasional shared conversation between people will be called out and the parties are directed to stop talking and keep working. This can be taken as offensive and hurtful. "I'm not doing anything wrong! I'm doing my job! Why can't I talk once in a while?" I have felt these same things. But when the direction is pondered over for a bit, I can begin to see and understand that while I may not be a problem, there are several other times and people where this is a huge problem. It is my leader's job to make sure that this rule is established across the board, keeping any problems at bay. It also helps me to see this person as a guiding presence in my work setting to job efficiancy.
I am grateful for those leaders in my life that say the tough things to me. They may not always be 'spot-on', but I know that I may gain wisdom from the letter of what they say or the round about thought. This is gained either by following exactly what they say or realizing that it was meant to motivate something else. All which can be gained by HUMBLY PONDERING what direction or counsel was given.
I hope that when I am given the chance to step into a pair of 'leader' shoes, I will be able to deliver such clear-cut messages with confidence and a hard shell. And not fade back into 'gray'. :)
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